New Year. New Boundaries. These 7 tips on setting boundaries can get you the life you want.
As this year is coming to a close and a new one begins, now is the perfect time to take stock of your life. Take a look at where you fall on your happiness scale. Are you feeling absolute joy? Contentment? Or do you find yourself settling? Now is the time to set your boundaries. Start the new year fresh by letting go of what no longer serves you. Setting boundaries can change your life.
Here are 7 tips to help you set boundaries that can get you the life you want.
- Reflection: Review your past year. Take a look at your relationships.
Are you feeling fulfilled in them? What about your own boundaries? Do you sometimes feel that you’re an easy “doormat” and yet, you can’t seem to find a way to give up on people?
Allow yourself permission to take a look at whether or not someone is bringing joy to your life or are they adding stress?
We can find ourselves staying in situations long after we know it’s over. We know it’s not healthy. Why? Why do we stay? Perhaps it has to do with not giving up on someone, or wanting to look at “their” side of a situation, a belief that “this is the best it’s going to get” or a fear of change.
Set a boundary that works for YOU! Listening to the advice of a friend or family member can lead you in the wrong direction because they will be working from their perception. It’s important for you to work from your personal perception. Take the time to connect with yourself to see what FEELS right to you. If it doesn’t FEEL right, that is a boundary. If it DOES feel right, then you know you want to work in that direction. Be your own compass.
- Set your Boundaries: Now make a list of your new boundaries.
Start with creating a list. Look at all of the areas in your life. Love, Relationships, Career, Finance, and Health. Ask yourself in each of those areas do you feel fulfilled? Do you feel a sense of joy? If the answer is NO, then focus on that area. Write down what you are feeling. Then write down what you do want. Find a way to simply phrase what you desire. That is part of your list!
- Uphold your Boundaries: Stand strong for what you want.
Having the courage to set boundaries and the discipline to uphold them can be difficult.
It’s important to implement boundaries into your life as it tells the universe what you feel is your “self-worth”. In order to attract from the universe what you truly want, you must be specific in telling the universe what that is for you. So many people leave it up to the universe to guess for them! Do you part of the work and allow the energy of that to respond to you.
Are you the type of person who is constantly giving someone 2nd chances, or bending the rules or pretending something didn’t happen? Does that make you feel good? Do you feel loved? If yes, then keep doing it! If the answer is no, then release the need to keep giving. By being honest with yourself, you can change the types of people, situations and energy your draw in. The more you can honor your boundaries, the more joy you can bring into your life.
- Apply Boundaries to all areas: Love, Work, Health, Money, Relationships.
Boundaries can apply to any aspect of your life. If you’re feeling underappreciated at work. Look at what you’re volunteering to take on. Do you say NO to new projects? Or do you continuously take on extra tasks because you’re afraid of upsetting the boss? Using the word NO can become your new best friend. There’s nothing wrong with telling someone that it doesn’t feel good to you. If that upsets them or you lose friends, trust that it’s the universe’s way of guiding you to what is in the best interest of your highest self.
Be sure to look at the areas of your life. Let’s say it’s Love. You’ve been seeing someone, yet it’s not going where you want it to go. You say to yourself “oh, they just need more time” or “they’ll come around”. The co-dependent might say “if I just love them enough”.
But stop for a moment, ask yourself this. How do YOU feel? Are YOU ready for a commitment? Yet this person isn’t responding? Then you have to tell the universe, that you want a commitment. The universe will either respond with having him have a change of heart or removing this person from your life. Either way, the universe will set you up to bring what you’re asking from it.
- Be Gentle with Yourself: It’s a learning process
If you’re a people pleaser or a nurturer then being firm in your boundaries can be especially difficult for you. You have a tendency and desire to appease everybody. You may put your spouse and children first and then there’s nothing left in the tank for you. Time to change that. And know, that you may not get it right the first time. You may find yourself slipping into old habits even AFTER you set those boundaries, but be gentle. It takes time to recondition yourself.
- Listen to your Inner Compass: Surrender and let it guide you!
Once you focus on listening to your inner compass and following that, you will find a sense of authenticity because you will no longer have to “fake” it in a conversation or relationship. The people you start to attract into your life will naturally have the same core belief system. As we change, our circle changes as well. As a friend once said “maybe you just haven’t found your tribe yet”. So put yourself out there! Your true and authentic self, and then see who is in your tribe.
- Be Honest: Honesty really is the best policy!
Being honest with ourselves and others can sometimes be a challenge. We don’t want to upset someone, or hurt their feelings so we decide to settle. Keep our mouths shut. But then, you are doing a disservice to yourself. You are not being authentic to YOU. Why must you always be on the back burner? It’s time to be honest and those who are meant to be in your life will still be there with you.
Listening to your inner self and setting boundaries can be risky. If you honor your boundaries, you will create change. That’s how it works. So you must be open and ready for change. If you are to draw into your life what you truly desire, this is the way to do it. There may be some bumpy roads as people don’t like change. You may even find yourself separating from friends, jobs and relationships. However, if you are being honest in your quest, you will find a sense of peace, joy and respect for yourself that makes it all worth it!
Colby is a master spiritual teacher of the LWISSD and a certified and tested member of Best American Psychics by Shay Parker. Colby currently resides in Los Angeles, CA where she serves as a professional psychic, medium, teacher, author and public speaker. CLICK HERE to book a session with Colby.
#spiritual guidance #personal boundaries #new year resolutions #psychic readings #psychic rebel