SOULMATE OR SETTLING? FIND OUT IN FIVE STEPS.

Soulmate or Settling? – 5 WAYS to finding your truth in Love, Relationships & Romance.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, you may be questioning your status. You find yourself in a relationship. Perhaps you’re married, and it’s just…ok. It’s lost its excitement and passion. You reconcile yourself to believing that this is what love is about. This is marriage. Have you asked yourself if you’ve you found your soulmate or simply settled?

I see many clients who remain in a marriage either because its’ comfortable or there’s children or just a sense of “this is the best it’s going to get” but I feel just the opposite. People have lost the courage to take chances, to be on their own. To stick to Plan A. Instead, they settle for Plan B. They are unable to trust that life is about change and evolution. Instead of allowing ourselves the process of expansion and growth, we tend to stay the same. That’s because it feels safer to us. As we grow older, the idea of change becomes so fearful. Therefore, the idea of leaving our mate to venture alone into the world seems impossible.

Let’s talk about your relationship. You know the person. You are used to them. They aren’t so bad really. They may be a good provider, or they are certainly reliable, but do they listen to you? Are they interested in where you are going in life? Or do you find yourself feeling trapped? If you have children, it could even be harder because we are programmed as a society to sacrifice for the sake of our children. But, doesn’t that teach our kids to do the same? Is that what you want for your children? For them to be in a relationship that doesn’t completely fulfill?  What would you tell them? “Oh, that’s how it goes. That’s normal”. Does it feel normal to you?

What about intimacy? Does it feel organic? Orgasmic? I believe in true love. I believe in soulmates. I also feel that we can have more than one soulmate. So perhaps, we have one to take us through one phase of our life and then as we transition, our soulmate transitions. Therefore, we need to allow for the universe to pull in a new one. There are those who remain completely content and happy with one person their entire life. This is to be applauded, not because they managed to “stick” it out together, but because they knew it was the right partnership for them. This is how the universe works! It’s doesn’t have to be the same for everyone, but it does have to be authentic and genuine to you!

So, let’s get to the GOOD part! Let’s help you with finding your truth in Love, Relationships & Romance!

1. Look at yourself in the mirror? How do you feel? What do you see? Do you look back at yourself and feel a sense of pride and acceptance for who you are? Or do you see slumped shoulders, an aging body and a tendency to focus on your perceived flaws? Or do you mindlessly look at yourself? Almost numb to the discovery of you? You have to become genuine, authentic and truthful with yourself. It’s so important to look at yourself with love and acceptance. That’s your first step. Understand that your body is working for you! You start with celebrating you. If you are finding that concept much too hard to accept than it could very well be that you are afraid to see the truth of what’s inside. That maybe who is on the inside is not what you are seeing in the mirror, or it’s not feeling like who you want it to be.
2. Let’s assume you are in a relationship. When you go to bed at night (or when you wake up in the morning) do you look at your partner and think “I’m really lucky to have this person next to me?” or do you feel guilty that you should feel that way but don’t? Finding your truth in love, relationships and romance means being able to speak the truth to yourself. If you don’t look at that partner and feel a sense of gratitude and excitement, then you have to ask yourself “WHY?” At some point you did, right? And if not, then well, we really need to take a look at this! But at what point did it start to taper off? Was it when the intense working began? The children came? The intimacy stopped? Try to pinpoint the timing of when that feeling started to slip away and then ask yourself what was going on during that time? Sometimes, it’s about refocusing, remembering and asking yourself if the feelings are still there, but buried. Or have the feelings drifted away and it’s time for a dose of honesty?
3. Is the family stepping in? Do you find yourself staying and settling because you’re afraid of divorce or afraid of what your family would say? I have a friend that said her mom told her that she had a man who was a “good provider and didn’t abuse her” so of course it’s a good marriage. Is that what constitutes a good marriage these days? Her mom was obviously dealing with her own fears and beliefs and was projecting them onto her daughter (my friend). Here’s what’s important to remember…this is YOUR life! If you have that nagging feeling that “it has to be better than this” you are RIGHT!
4. I have so many clients that want to know when their Mr. /Ms. RIGHT is coming along! But when I tap in, its years away and it’s because I’m being told that they aren’t putting themselves out there! You have to make yourself available! I don’t believe that you find love when you aren’t looking. You find love when your heart is OPEN! So open your heart. You can’t hate online dating, hate bars, hate flirting and then wonder why you haven’t met someone! Or the opposite, you feel you’ve been putting yourself out there, but just aren’t connecting with anyone.
5. Life is about ACTION! You have to hold yourself responsible for your own happiness. You can’t blame your spouse (or lack thereof) or your family. You are the master of your life. Blaming others won’t help you achieve happiness or fulfillment. Only ACTION will. You have to ask yourself what you want and then take the steps towards achieving that. Playing the victim or using every set back as a sign you are failing isn’t the way to make change. Of course there are set-backs, that’s called life. But when you allow those set-backs to throw you completely off course then you are telling the universe that you aren’t ready and they will respond in kind. Like attracts Like. The more positive energy you can focus into your life the more you will see luck, gratitude and opportunity come forward to you!

I hope these 5 steps have given you a starting ground to finding your truth in Love, Relationships & Romance! Click HERE to book your session with Colby today!

Colby is a master spiritual teacher of the LWISSD and a certified and tested member of Best American Psychics by Shay Parker. Colby currently resides in Los Angeles, CA where she serves as a professional psychic, medium, teacher author and public speaker. Colby is not a therapist or doctor. In no way is this article intended to be taken as a diagnosis or medical treatment. Always seek the guidance of a professional for medical treatment.  CLICK HERE to book a session with Colby.